Jenna Jameson

The Sun alleges Jenna Jameson was kicked out of Chinawhite for attempting to do drugs in the bathroom. Jenna was celebrating with Chelsea stars for their win over Liverpool when she asked one of her friends to go to the bathroom to “touch up her make-up.” Having no idea what any of that means, here’s a quote from a member of Jenna’s entourage:

“She just asked if one of her friends could go in with her in the toilets to touch up her make-up before facing the paparazzi. But the toilet attendant said no, and kicked off. The bouncers called us American pigs, which brought Jenna to tears.”

The toilet attendant was right. She is pretty disgusting. In her heyday, she’s had gallons of sperm poured down her throat. This has transformed her into a gross, zombie-looking monster. Now she spends her time living in the past by doing sexy dances in front of soccer players and then going into the bathroom to snort lines off the rim of a toilet. I find it amazing I didn’t get a raging hard-on after reading this.