Ashlee Pete

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were married over the weekend and you’d expect them to be on their honeymoon and guess what, they are. Pete Wentz told Ryan Seacrest on his KISS-FM show Tuesday that he and Ashlee have signed a pre-nup and are currently honeymooning in their basement. Likely because Pete never moved out of his mom’s house.

“We got some blow-up palm trees,” Wentz said. “A little fake-n-bake tanning booth.

“We’re eating DiGiorno’s pizza, getting in that tanning oven every once in a while, it’s great.

“It’s gonna look like we’re on that private jet,” he added. “We’re gonna save that 30 grand, you know?”

This is the sort of thing I expect from Pete Wentz. He’s probably hiding in the basement because if he steps foot out of the house, a big mean bully is going to beat him up, steal his pizza, stuff him in a aluminum trash can and roll him down a hill. Maybe even have sex with Ashlee for good measure even though she’s not the bully’s type. By the way, if you haven’t already figured it out, that big bully is me and I’m not actually going to put him in a trash can. I’m going to kick him in the nuts. It’s less work and just as fulfilling.