The Lohan’s are great parents

Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s psycho attention whoring father, showed up at the Penninsula Hotel on Wednesday where Lindsay’s girlfriend Samantha Ronson was deejaying and staked out the lobby waiting for Lindsay to arrive. A source revealed to Page Six:

“It was freaky. He was sitting on the steps and texting like mad, and looking very upset that she hadn’t arrived.”

Lindsay supposedly learned about her dad’s ambush and steered clear of the hotel, opting instead to have lunch with her mom and sister. A wise choice because Michael Lohan is crazy. He’s the kind of guy who professes his love for god, but a week later police find twenty dead bodies piled up in his basement all dressed in evening gowns, their hair bleached and wearing whorish makeup and spray on tans.

Dina Lohan, on the other hand, is less of a psycho, but still a horrible parent. At least according to a few critics who caught a glimpse of her reality show on E!. Viewers were appalled when Dina Lohan showed Lindsay Lohan’s alleged sex tape to 14-year-old Ali.

“Last time I checked, allowing a child to watch porn is against the law,” one viewer commented on GlossLip.com. Another asked on Trashwire.com, “Does anyone besides me think it’s weird that Dina showed her daughter [such images]?”

It’s true, Dina is a pretty awful at raising children, but still, by the time I was 14, I’d already seen sites like Goatse.cx, Rotten.com, Stileproject and Orgish (now LiveLeak). This was actually pretty tame. Knowing how Lindsay turned out, Ali’s probably already doing Kegel exercises when she pees. She could probably grip a bowling ball with her vagina by now. A 6 pound one. She hasn’t yet reached the expert level of 14 pounds like Lindsay. One day, though. One day.