Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse is being paid $2 million to perform at the opening of an art gallery run by Daria Zhukova. Daria is the girlfriend of Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich. What? You didn’t know?

At one end, the stage stood empty with “Amy Winehouse” emblazoned in gold capital letters across the background.

“Amy has confirmed she’ll play an exclusive performance next week at the gallery for contemporary art and culture in Moscow,” the singer said in a recent statement on her Web site.

The only way I’d pay $2 million for Amy Winehouse is if she smuggled 30 kilos of coke in her anus and also, while she was butchering whatever song she was trying to perform, brought a bear riding a tricycle out on stage. Because, have you seen those things? So cool.