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Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge are in bikinis

It’s still not clear why The Hills is so popular. Everyone on there is boring. MTV should film me instead. I’m the opposite of boring. Exciting. They can film me writing this post. Look at me type, MTV. I also scratch my ass sometimes. But don’t think I’m confined solely to my room. I know how to cut loose as well. Kind of. One time I opened my front door and walked out, but I had to run back in. The outside world frightens me. What the hell is that bright, burning, yellow thing in the sky? Eeeek!

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