Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan hopes to turn her life around with her new movie, Labor Pains, about a young woman (Lindsay) who pretends to be pregnant so she doesn’t get fired. Now Lindsay is one step closer to realizing her dream as she has found someone to insure, albeit with a lot of vouching from the film’s producer, Rick Schwartz. Rush & Molloy call the script hilarious and exclaim that this could bring Lindsay’s career back on track.

According to the screenplay we’ve obtained, Lohan plays a young woman who pretends to be pregnant so she doesn’t get fired. She thrives on the attention she’s getting despite “carrying a volleyball around on her stomach.” We don’t want to be spoilers, but the script is hilarious.

The movie will be made whether or not there’s an actors strike, since the union gave Schwartz a waiver, Variety reported.

Lindsay was never that great of an actress. She’s not some fallen star who has a chance at a great comeback. The one decent movie she was in was Mean Girls and that movie sucked. After that, it was all downhill. Herbie, I Know Who Killed Me, Georgia Rules. Lindsay’s body of work belongs more in sadomasochistic rituals than in AFI’s top 100.

Don’t even ask me what she’s doing with Dennis Hopper either. I have no clue.