Sources tell Holy Moly that Madonna has hired high powered divorce lawyer, Nicholas Mostyn QC, the same person that represented Paul McCartney in his divorce with Heather Mills. Unfortunately for Madonna, there have been no indications of a pre-nup which may allow Guy Ritchie to take half her money.

Long standing rumours of a rift between the couple are finally confirmed with this news, as Holy Moly’s sources suggest nothing more than “growing apart” as the reason for the split. They have spent increasing amounts of time apart with both Madonna’s new album and tour and Guy’s revived movie career are cited as reasons. The adoption of David Banda attracted a huge wave of negative publicity, allegedly putting further strain on the relationship. The couple have one other son, Rocco, and Lourdes, Madonna’s daughter from a relationship with her fitness instructor Carlos Leon.

“Growing apart” is a euphemism for “Madonna is turning into a dude.” She’s built like a tank. Seriously. If my wife started growing a penis, I’d want a divorce too. I heard Guy Ritchie was at the last UFC event and told Chuck Lidell that Madonna was coming over to whoop his ass just for fun. Chuck whimpered, “Why? What did I do?” and ran away screaming like a little girl.