Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have been dating for a while and even though John says this is a fling, Jennifer doesn’t mind. Why? Because a friend of the singer says he’s great in bed.

“John is good in bed,” a pal of the 30-year old singer-songwriter tells OK!. “Not just good, but sensational. Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of their life. I’m not sure what exactly he does in bed, but after girls sleep with him, they’re ruined. They get totally hung up on him and want more! Whatever John’s secret is, he should market it. He could retire from the music industry.”

Whatever. John Mayer probably told OK! this in an email. It’s inapplicable to this situation anyway. Jennifer Aniston is boring. Her favorite sexual position is with the guy on top wearing a Brad Pitt mask while she sobs into her hands. Dirty talk to her is asking if you’re done yet. I’m not exaggerating when I say having sex with a corpse would be more exciting than having sex with Jennifer Aniston.