Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie’s doctor, Michel Sussman, held a news conference on Wednesday in Nice. He says Angelina hasn’t given birth and won’t until at least a couple of weeks from now.

Sussmann says Jolie checked into the hospital to be kept under surveillance, not because of any medical emergency. Jolie’s partner, Brad Pitt, was seen leaving the seafront Lenval hospital Wednesday morning with one of their four young children.

Figures. You’ll know when Angelina gives birth because the skies will part and a ray of light will shine down upon the Earth and for a split second, everyone will feel true happiness. At least that’s what the media leads me to believe. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll be so disappointed.