The Rob Marshall directed musical, Nine, has assembled a who’s who cast of actors which includes Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cottilard, Penelope Cruz, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren and Judi Dench. Now you can add Fergie to the list. Huh? She’s tapped to play Saraghina, “a lusty woman who introduces Guido (Day-Lewis) to the world of sexuality.” Double huh?

Fergie? Introducing someone to a world of sexuality? Is this some sort of joke? How are they going to film this without making Day-Lewis cringe in horror? Put Fergie behind double paned bullet proof glass with a bag over her head? No, no. This isn’t right. This is like having Kristi Ally teach dieting. You know even before she shows up, she’s already scarfed down a baker’s dozen of donut holes. Same with Fergie. You know even before she shows up, she’s going to be ugly.