Paris Hilton

Page Six reports on Paris Hilton’s ever increasing jealousy of the attention her best friend Nicole Richie has been getting over her baby. To combat this, Paris has devised a diabolical scheme to place herself back in the public eye. Get pregnant too.

“A baby would put her back in the news.” Hilton, who’s only dated Madden for six months, is already doing what she’s never done before – swearing off drugs and booze in an attempt to try and spawn.

Paris’ whoreishness may be her own undoing. By now her uterus looks like the outside of an old metal trash can; covered with dings and dents from being poked by hundreds of penises and foreign objects. She’d need one of those suction machines they use on damaged cars to make her womb look normal again.