A week before Shia LaBeouf was arrested for DUI, he gave an interview in the September issue of Details in which he admits that he doesn’t “know how to have one drink.” He told the magazine that he and his dad, a recovering heroin addict, used to “drink and smoke together.”

“It’s not something that is conducive to being a role model. No iconic actors that I know of have problems like that.”

Shia’s Transformers co-star, Isabel Lucas, was the passenger in his car at the time of the accident. The series of events before and after the accident probably went something like, “No, no. I’m good to drive. See? Look at these reflexes.” Shia swipes at the air. “Like a cat!” Isabel, also drunk, nods in agreement. They both get into the cab of the truck and Shia spends five minutes trying to stick the keys in the cigarette lighter mistaking it for the ignition. He finally figures it out, drives off, gets into an accident, rolls over and gets charged with a DUI. And because L.A. fawns over celebrities like they’re newborn puppies, the mayor drops the charges and gives him the key to the city for his heroic effort in showing everyone how dangerous illegal left turns can be. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a minority is being raped with a billy club for jaywalking.