Mary-Kate Olsen

Mary-Kate went on the Late Show with David Letterman last week and said Spencer Pratt was a crybaby in high school. Spencer Pratt fired back saying they didn’t go to the same high school, even though they did at one point. It seemed a D-list war of words had erupted. Now, evidence has been unearthed that Spencer started it.

In a 2007 Details article about Brody Jenner, Pratt bragged how he made $50,000 by selling a picture of Mary-Kate drunk at a party. He also spoke about his plan for Jenner to date Nicole Richie and get her to eat and have Brody date every girl on The Hills.

Perhaps most ironic: He spends 20 minutes talking about how he wants to make a sex video with girlfriend Heidi Montag and then post it online. It’s the height of hypocrisy, if you believe Lauren Conrad’s claim that Pratt started the feud between her and Montag by spreading rumors of a sex tape starring Conrad.

It’s pretty obvious Spencer Pratt is a crybaby moron. What wasn’t obvious was how big of a crybaby moron he is. Apparently, he’s a really big one. I bet if you accidentally bumped into Spencer on the street, he’d be up in your face giving you a five minute lecture on why you should watch where you’re going. But when you raise your fist like you’re about to beat him up, he’ll start sniveling and crying and possibly pee his pants. You’ll feel sort of sorry for him and instead of punching him, you’ll stuff him in a garbage can. After which, you’ll say something clever like, “That’s what I call taking out the trash.” This will result in thunderous applause and women throwing themselves at you.