Matthew McConaughey will be a good father: Funny or Die thinks Matthew McConaughey will be a great father despite forgetting he has a kid every 6 hours. Memory is overrated.

Hellboy II over everything: Proving Ron Pearlman in a Hellboy costume beats a Brendan Fraiser with hair plugs any day.

Britney Spears doesn’t even have to act: More details have surfaced about Britney and Madonna’s collaboration. Britney Spears will soon shoot a meltdown scene in an elevator kicking the doors and hitting things. Shooting will begin once they find an elevator capable of sustaining her weight. Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

The CW Network is in trouble: Billing itself as a network for young teen girls, the CW is having a hard time finding ratings despite airing such shows as the much talked about Gossip Girl. Although the CBS and WB partnership isn’t folding anytime soon, they’re still scrambling for ideas. May I suggest When Animals Attack? Those shows are cool.

No one likes Katherine Heigl: Shondra Rimes, creator of Grey’s Anatomy, is still pissed over Katherine Heigl’s comments. The one she made about the writer’s shitty scripts. They’re thinking of killing her character off. They shouldn’t do that, that’s exactly what that bitch wants. They should just make her character into the most hated person on the show. Like, have everyone discover that she’s a racist and make her have explosive diarrhea. Every 5 minutes.