Britney Spears

OK! Magazine gives Britney Spears a verbal handjob in their latest issue. They congratulate her on her new figure and don’t even use backhanded compliments. Sounds lame.

“I’m the healthiest I’ve been all my life,” Britney, 26, tells OK!. “My diet has a lot to do with my getting into shape. I have no sugar. I don’t eat fruit or even fruit juice because of the sugar. I eat chicken and salmon and rice. I eat avocados. I’ll have egg whites for breakfast and sometimes turkey burgers for lunch. I try to do just 1,200 calories a day. It may sound like it’s not much, but it’s actually a lot of food if you eat the right things.”

Britney’s trainer, Adam Cronin, claims that his workout program coupled with his diet plan allowed Britney to lose up to 12 pounds in 30 days. Now with just five easy payments of $19.95, you too can be like Britney. Don’t miss out. Start eating yourself to an early grave, today!