Ellen DeGeneres married Portia de Rossi

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi wed in an intimate ceremony Saturday night at Ellen’s home in front of only 19 guests.

DeGeneres’s mom Betty and de Rossi’s mother Margaret Rogers (who flew in from Australia for the occasion), who witnessed the couple exchange handwritten vows.

“She’s taught me lessons about myself, and I feel like I’ve taught her,” the TV host said of de Rossi last year. “We’ve both changed and grown, and we just feel like, ‘Oh, okay, this is completion.’”

Ellen looks like the kind of person who’ll just lie there during sex, mouth slightly open, pointing to where she wants it like some sort of lesbian Jabba the Hut. As it turns out, she must be great in bed for Portia to marry her. Which makes sense because ugly people usually have redeeming qualities such as this. It comes from many lonely nights of practicing with their pillow.