Hayden Panettiere

Hayden Panttiere’s dad, Alan, was arrested Monday morning for allegedly “battering his wife,” Lesley Panettiere. TMZ says he hit her in the face at 3 AM. It’s unclear why Alan and his wife were even up at 3 AM in the morning. He was either sleep abusing-his-wife or they were out partying and Lesley “disrespected” him. Oh hey, looks like it’s the second scenario.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Alan and Lesley Panettiere were at a party earlier in the evening. We’re told Alan was upset because Lesley was “hanging” with someone at the shindig and he felt she was “disrespecting” him.

Sources say, according to Lesley’s statement to Sheriffs, the couple went home, began arguing and he struck her in the cheek. We’re told cops took pictures and there are visible marks.

People should stop using the phrase “battering his wife.” It makes it sound more delicious than it really is.

The banner pic above was my lame attempt at giving Hayden Panettiere bruises. You can stop laughing now.

Unrelated note: My net has been really slow this morning and I can’t figure out if it’s because the people at Time Warner are jerks or because I spliced my cat-5 cable in half to make it twice as fast.