Heidi Montag, this is your life

Has this what it’s come down to? Staging photo shoots in the middle of Whole Foods. Pretending to be blissfully unaware that you’re holding two watermelons, two oranges and two peaches in perfect position in front of your chest clearly meant to symbolize one’s breasts? A gag that was played out before Abe Lincoln was even born? And you do this while staring into the camera acknowledging that this is being photographed and ruining the intended spontaneity of it all? Heidi might as well go through your computer monitor, punch you in the face and say, “Look at me. I’m an attention whore,” and smash your face in her tits.