Jennifer Love Hewitt

For whatever reason, Health Magazine must have thought it would be a riot to interview questionable size 2 actress, Jennifer Love Hewitt, who recently lost weight to make herself feel better. Health does the normal routine, asking her about her impending 30th birthday, her workout routine and her body. Jennifer goes through the motions, “I’m running a marathon,” “I enjoy yoga,” and “Enjoy your body while you’re young.” There is one gem in this interview when Jennifer offers sage advice to young impressionable girls.

How has your relationship with your body changed over the years?
…I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer—and enjoy it. I want to tell them to never, ever feel bad about anything, because there will be that one day in your 20s when you’ll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg. Initially it’s shocking, and you think, Whoa, I have to actually think about what I eat and work out double the amount I did before. Then you go, Well, now my body gets to make children, which is so cool. And I suddenly don’t look like a little girl anymore. I look like a woman. How exciting is that? You start to find value in other things.

I like how Jennifer defines 28 as the turning point. Coincidentally, that’s right around the time she started letting herself go and “becoming a woman.” That’s also about the time she convinced herself she was still a size 2 despite needing a shoe horn and grease to slip into her jeans. Amazing how that works. Now she says she’s no longer a little girl. Well, if this is what a woman looks like, let it be known, I much prefer little girls. You hear me? I want to have sex with little girls. Wait, no. Aw, crap.