Katy Perry let some woman fondle her 32D’s all in the name of breast cancer awareness. The mold of Katy’s breasts will be painted by someone sort of famous — I forgot who because my head is still spinning from the fact that there’s only a thin layer of mold between me and Katy’s breasts. That and my computer monitor, the non-hi-def resolution of YouTube and 600 miles, but whatever. I’m sooo close — and put up for auction. Anticipating that this will be on eBay, I have created the username “ShowMEYourTItsKatyPerry” and am ready to bid ten dollars. I have a good feeling I’m going to win this.

Yes, I know this is a week old, but… tits!