Matthew McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey’s mom, Kay, released I Amaze Myself!, a book detailing everything about her life. Kay is ashamed of nothing, even writing about how Matt’s dad died while in mid-coitus.

“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay says exclusively in the latest issue of Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened.

“I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing,” she says. “But it was just the best way to go!”

And when her man couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the buff.

“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says.

It would be cool if he had a huge boner when EMTs carried him out and all the neighbors stood around watching this horrible scene unfold with their kids and their kids said, “Mommy, mommy. Why does Mr. McConaughey have a third leg and why is it pointed up?” The parents would have to make up a bs excuse like, “It’s pointing to Heaven so his soul knows where to go.” All the while they’re fanning themselves because they’re getting all hot.