John Mayer

John Mayer may have ripped out Jennifer Aniston’s heart and stomped on it like an angry preschooler, but the joke’s on him because now that he’s no longer with Aniston, paparazzi want nothing to do with him. MSNBC writes:

“He thinks he’s famous as Jen now. Last week he went to a party, tipped off the paps, and even had decoy cars at the ready when he was leaving,” says one paparazzo. “Nice, but no one bothered to follow them, which made John think he ‘lost’ everyone, when really no one bothered to follow him.”

Paparazzi say that pictures of John and Jen used to sell for $20,000. Now, pictures of John alone are only worth $200. Bwahahaha. It must be heartbreaking for him to see paparazzi swarm the kids of High School Musical instead of him. Unless he’s so naive he doesn’t know what’s going on. “I’m so diabolical,” he probably thought to himself. I bet he even rubs his hands together and gives himself a satisfactory nod every time he escapes in his decoy car.