Yesterday, MTV finally made known — I was waiting with baited breath — what Britney’s role would be during the VMAs. Britney will be opening the 2008 VMAs, but she will not be performing. However, Van Toffler from MTV said it will be something “fun and unexpected.” Britney says, “MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMA’s? I’m excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated.”

Note that Britney has been nominated 17 times and has not won once. This year she’s nominated twice. Ha ha, loser. I bet they nominated Britney to placate her. Otherwise, she’d have been reluctant to perform. Newsflash MTV, any sugary or deep fried food item can placate Britney. Be careful about giving her deep fried ice cream though. Britney will probably blow you where you stand.