David Blaine

Creepy street magician David Blaine will hang upside down above Central Park’s Wollman ice skating rink for 60 hours, completely disregarding doctors’ warnings that he could go blind. Hey, I thought that only happened with masturbation? Until his time is up, Blaine will survive off liquids and use a catheter to pee.

Sounding nasal from sinus pressure, Blaine kept smiling while describing the “enormous push of blood” that made it feel like his head was “about to explode.”

“The legs go pins and needle very fast,” he said, adding that stretches — kind of an upside-down sit-up — seem to help.

Get a clue David. Your next trick could be you being raped by a unicorn and the only thing people would care about is where you found this unicorn and can it fly? Other than that, no one will bat an eye. You could plummet that 44 feet to your death and the only reaction you’d get is anger from the Zamboni guy because he has to clean that shit up.

[Image via Splash News]