Ed McMahon

Ed McMahon has fallen on hard times. So, when FreeCreditReport.com offered him a job, Ed said “yes please, may I have another.” FCR said sure and gave him a second one. Now the 85-year-old Ed McMahon will star in two viral rap videos for the financial website. CNN says:

The videos feature McMahon wearing a tracksuit, being chauffeured around Los Angeles in a Cadillac Escalade golf cart and waxing lyrical about his very public financial troubles.

“When I retired, I was famous,” McMahon raps in the video. “I had money and glory/I bought a house for 6 mill/I thought nothing could touch me/Until my credit went south, and debt started to crunch me/Next thing I know, instead of playing gin rummy, I was scrambling just to make ends meet/It wasn’t funny.”

After being joined by two scantily clad women, McMahon continues: “Got a bump from the media chumps, but that was temporary/Wife with bad credit was scary, so I got wise/I may have fallen, but I got back up/Now I’m back on the attack, like a ninja swinging nunchucks/I told the haters, ‘Go on, take a hike’/It’s my show now, and I can do what I like.”

This is embarrassing. To have lived an iconic life and now have to do advertisements only suitable for the K-Feds of the world. Pretty soon, expect Ed to make appearances on MTV’s Sweet Sixteen: The Middle Class Edition. He’ll be the surprise guest at some poor girl’s party, gyrating his geriatric hips as he serenades her. She’ll be squirming uncomfortably in her seat while her clueless parents will be gushing with uncontrollable excitement.

Ed McMahon