Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria addressed those pregnancy rumors on Tuesday in an interview with Le Grand Journal. Eva told the magazine, “I’m just fat.” As Eva sat there braying like a donkey, her husband, Tony Parker, “chuckled nervously.”

To make Gabrielle look like she has two kids, Longoria has said she ate “everything in sight! Pasta … pizza.

“Tony and I went crazy this summer!” the actress, who also stopped working out, told Entertainment Tonight.

Her other secret for looking heavier? “I have butt pads, I have thigh pads, I have stomach pads!”

When you’re wife/girlfriend starts talking about their weight, you may want to run away. Anything you do will be viewed as criticism. Tony probably wasn’t sure what to do. Laugh at her joke and admit that she’s put on a few unsightly pounds or not laugh and imply what she said wasn’t funny. Either way, he loses. In thisĀ  situation, he might as well have gone all out by laughing really hard, grabbing Eva’s jelly rolls and yelling, “Look at this fatty!” You know, make the next two sexless weeks worth it.