Heather Locklear

Heather Locklear was arrested for DUI outside of Santa Barbara over the weekend. Police pulled her over after receiving a report that she was driving erratically. Police believed she wasn’t drunk, but rather under the influence of prescription medication.

A California Highway Patrol officer later found her car parked on a highway and blocking a traffic lane in Montecito, near Santa Barbara, about 90 miles northwest of Los Angeles.

Heather’s mug shot sort of gives it away. No one looks like that normally. Paris Hilton is the master of the blank, confused, empty-headed stare and not even she could pull this off. It looks like if a bird flew by, Heather would clap her hands like an excited baby and open her mouth to form a huge, drooling, retarded grin.