Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez competed in the Nautica Malibu Triathlon finishing the 1/2 mile swim, 18 mile bike ride and 4 mile run in 2 hours and 23 minutes, but not without incident. Remember when I predicted Jennifer would start drowning. It actually happened. Except, her buoyant ass wasn’t the one to save her.

According to the Splash News photo description, Jennifer had to be rescued “as she could not support the big tides.”. She started sinking and went missing for a couple of seconds until her trainer came and dragged her fat ass to where it was shallow enough so she could stand. Once safe, “she gave a big smile showing relief.”

I don’t see why she needed someone to save her. Logic dictates all she needed to do was make that low pitched noise and a pack of humpbacks would have come to her aid. Whales take care of their own. Even if they are fatties.