The MTV VMAs were yesterday and they were fantastic in every way. Ha, just kidding. They sucked. The one shining moment was when Jordin Sparks took offense to host Russell Brand’s joke about the Jonas Brothers and their promise rings. Because it’s funny when fatties are offended. Jordin said, “I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.” Whatever. This is what ugly or fat people say because no one wants to have sex with them. So next time you hear someone say it’s good not to be a slut, don’t listen. Their high sugar intake is clearly affecting their judgement.