Michael Phelps

No longer in training and having accomplished the greatest feat in Olympic history, Michael Phelps went to the Playboy Club at the Palms in Vegas over the weekend to score some tail. According to Neel Shah at Radar,

“It was unreal. Within moments of entering the club he summoned two girls over… I’ve never seen such an aggressive grip.”

Apparently, this is what happens when you’re the greatest athlete ever. And here I am trying to lure girls to me by tying a $20 bill to a string when I could have just won eight Olympic gold medals.