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A few days ago, Joaquin Phoenix abruptly announced his retirement from acting to E! News. E! released the footage of the public resignation and it shows a completely out of it Joaquin slurring his way through a short retirement speech. Afterward, Casey Affleck was caught off guard and gave a hurried and mumbled, “Yea, he’s getting into music. Uh, I don’t know. You probably… he’s put out an album… I gotta go do this,” before he bolted off.

I could barely understand a word of what Joaquin said. Are you sure he retired or was he saying the men’s room was out of toilet paper? I’m not sure. Either way, you should watch this clip if not for the entire awkward conversation, then for the part where the interviewer puts his hand on his shoulder and laughs which causes Joaquin to look him dead in the eye and ask, “Why are you laughing?,” before leaving offended.

Weird. This is almost the exact same conversation I have with the women I hit on.