Lindsay Lohan flirts with Chace Crawford

Sometimes lesbian Lindsay Lohan has been relentlessly texting Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford. Lindsay has been calling him up to four times a day and sending “provocative” texts ever since the two exchanged numbers at the Diesel XXX Rock party in New York. Friends are advising Chace to stay as far away from Lindsay as possible because Sam will have to crawl out of whichever sewer she lives in to put the hurt on him. And believe me Smigel, I mean, Sam does not like to be disturbed.

“Lindsay took a real shine to Chace and was pretty much throwing herself at him all night.

“She was standing in such a way that some part of her body was always touching him – at one point hip to hip.

“She was also giving him the filthiest looks, whispering in his ear, and turning everything he said into an innuendo.

Isn’t it obvious? Just like Superman is powered by the Sun, Lindsay is powered by dick. She needs to be refueled every once in a while or else her whore powers will wither away. Without them, she may as well be dead.