Lindsay Lohan

At only 22-years-old, Lindsay Lohan is already thinking of adoption. She told Marie Claire, “At some point … I want to adopt a kid … A child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet.”

Hide the babies. There’s a 90% chance any kid raised by Lindsay will turn into a self-obsessed cocaine munching whore by the time they’re 18. Oh the humanity! Won’t someone please think of the children! And so on, and so forth. Seriously though, I don’t care how many kids she adopts. As long as she remembers to spay and neuter them.