Madonna back with A-Rod

Now that Madonna is officially free from her loveless marriage, she’s back with A-Rod. A source tells Us Magazine that they are “definitely romantic” and Madonna has actually been “privately separated” from Guy for over a year. Both Madonna and A-Rod have agreed to keep their relationship secret until she finishes her world tour.

How sweet. Soon they will be able to be together in public. Able to do 260lb bench presses side-by-side at 24 Hour Fitness without being judged. Able to binge on whey protein shakes without fear of being admonished. Madonna is getting hard just thinking about it.

In related divorce news, Guy Ritchie is expected to milk a $300 million divorce settlement assuming they didn’t sign a pre-nup which The Daily Mail believes they didn’t.