Aww, poor baby

Poor Paris spoke to News of the World and complained about being used by past boyfriends to boost their fame. For example, Rick Salomon released a sex tape of her and Nick Carter and Stavros Niarchos used her fame as a launching pad for themselves. Look how famous they are now because of Paris. Why, Stavros, Nick and Salomon were almost mentioned one time in passing once this year.

Top of Paris’s treachery hitlist is ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon, now 40. The small-time film producer made millions selling the infamous home-made sex tape of Paris, which was originally leaked on the internet.

“It was just the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to me. So humiliating and embarrassing. But at the end of the day, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Paris Hilton soon became jaded and began to question why people wanted to be with her. That is until she met Benji Madden who didn’t mind that she had no redeeming qualities. Now Paris is in love and promises she’ll marry her best friend Benji.

There’s a bit of revisionist history going on. No one knew who Paris Hilton was before Rick Salomon released a night vision film of her getting stuffed. Before starring in One Night in Paris, Paris was a struggling socialite. After One Night in Paris, Paris became a glorified porn star with no discernible talent who used her magic wonky eye to trick people into believing she was a celebrity. So in essence, it was Paris who used Rick who used Paris. It’s like a vicious whore circle.