Paris Hilton

Whoever becomes our nation’s next president, Obama or McCain, will owe Paris Hilton their undying gratitude. For it is this soulless vessel who encouraged our young, apathetic generation to meander into voting booths today. Talking to E! News, Paris claims her “Paris for President” videos was instrumental in this year’s record voter turnout.

“It’s exciting to be involved in the biggest election in history,” she said. “It encourages a lot of young voters to speak their voice and to vote.”

“I was talking about issues and actually making sense but still playing with my image at the same time,” she explained. “Doing it in a ditzy way, but actually saying things I think can really help it along.”

Funny. I thought those videos were satirical pieces making fun of Paris Hilton. Viewed by many only as filler while they waited for both Digg and Redtube to load and left unfinished after discovering that they had been tricked once again into watching a Paris Hilton spectacle without a night vision hide-the-salami payoff. At least that’s what I thought. For others, maybe substitute the Redtube with Maxporn.