The Blemish

Paula Abdul Is Insane

Paula Abdul, drunk?

It was only a matter of time before reports of how ’s suicide outside her Beverly Hills home has affected the mentally unstable . Page Six reports that Paula has refused to return to her “haunted house.” This was even after she sought the services of “healers” to rid the house of ghosts.

“[] was a deranged stalker who sent her death threats. Paula instructed guards to keep Goodspeed away from her at all costs,” said a source. “She refuses to stay at home because she fears that the spirit of Goodspeed is haunting her house. She feels like this is the absolute worst omen, a really bad curse . . . Paula is suffering. It is well known that she is emotionally fragile.”

A rep for Paula denied this, but everyone knows there’s a high probability this is true. You could throw a sheet over your head and pretend to be the ghost of Goodspeed and Paula would scream in horror, turn around and accidentally run head first into a wall. I think a funny thing to do would be to replace Paula’s regular alarm sound with Goodspeed’s American Idol audition.

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