Taylor Swift

Joe Jonas recently dumped Taylor Swift over the phone for 19-year-old Camilla Belle which is pretty embarrassing. More embarrassing than the fact that Taylor was actually dating Joe Jonas. The breakup resulted in being pretty much over guys. For five minutes anyway. She’s recently been seen with Intern Adam. I don’t know who that is, but I suspect someone out there does. Taylor explains:

“I’m thumbs down-ish about boys,” the blonde beauty said. “I’ve had a lot of guys complain about things I say either about them in songs or things I say about them in the press. I think it’s kind of fun to call out your ex-boyfriends. Why do this if your not going to take the opportunity to always have the last word, it’s so much fun.”

There’s no greater joy for Taylor than reaming an ex through a press release. Dating her is like having food poisoning. The beginning is filled with promise and satiated hunger, but when the night is over, you’re puking your guts out and praying for death and wondering where it all went wrong and why that Taylor Swift you ate had to go and make a song about your small penis.

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