Alex Rodriguez talked to PEOPLE and denied all rumors that he and Madonna are together. He claimed they are just friends. Pressed for more details, A-Rod reiterated the just friends statement. Rodriguez even insisted that he has “never been on a plane with her.”

Really? Someone should tell Rodriguez about this incredible new invention: the camera. It produces things called photographs. Snapshots in time, if you will. Snapshots like these of A-Rod getting off a plane with Madonna which refute his claims. Tomorrow I’ll teach A-Rod about the internet. It’s a series of tubes invented by Al Gore which passes information to the entire world. So, say, if you had grainy pictures of yourself with a certain someone on a plane, theoritically the whole world could see it and point and laugh at you.