Still an idiot

Pete Wentz did what no one wanted him to do and spoke candidly about his sex life with Ashlee Simpson. Past, present and future. During an interview with Howard Stern, the topic of conversation quickly turned into what Ashlee is like in the sack. Pete claims she’s fantastic because “Texas girls are fun.” It makes me nauseous just to type this. Read for yourself.

“We have such a sexual chemistry,” Pete continues (and seriously never stops). “Had we been on this show last year we’d probably be doing it in the green room.”

However, now that they have a 2-week-old baby, not so much…yet. Instead, “We do other fun stuff. She’s not ready down there.” Yes, he really said “down there.”

Other fun facts about their sex life that we probably shouldn’t know—but do now—include the specifics of Ashlee’s boobs: “She’s a C, but I think with the breast milk it’s a D.” And that she’s up for anything (really, anything): “Let’s just say my wife likes me to have a good time.”

Pete probably asks Ashlee if she could kindly place her fist in his rectum and then asks if he can do her in the butt. He loves that stuff. Especially when the 4th of July rolls around. He gets to put a sparkler in there!