Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s marriage is reportedly on the rocks. The two have been spotted in the past week without their engagement rings. Us will have you believe it’s a clear indication that a divorce is imminent. I still think it’s because Lopez’s finger is still a little pudgy from the pregnancy. One source explains: “They both didn’t wear their rings on purpose. Nothing Jennifer does is without purpose.”

Anthony’s rep denies these statements, but that source is persistent. They allege that Greyskull is very strict about the way Lopez dresses. Marc is “very, very controlling of her” and “the skirts aren’t as short. You don’t see so much of that booty anymore.”

Jennifer also uses Marc as a scapegoat for her failing film career, refusing to place the blame on her sub par acting ability.

Another problem: Lopez — who once commanded $15 million per film — “blames Marc for her career going down the tubes,” says a mutual pal, adding that she’s bitter about the failure of their 2006 drama, El Cantante, which only grossed $7.5 million. (Her 2002 flick Maid in Manhattan earned over $94 million.)

Just because Marc looks like a zombie and zombies are inherently evil doesn’t mean he’s the reason for all their problems. Sure, his parenting leaves a lot to be desired. Instead of merely standing over the babies’ cribs chanting “brains, need brains,” he could be changing diapers or whatever, but, look, Jennifer knew what she was getting into. It’s not like it came as a shock that she had to take care of the kids AND keep Marc from disemboweling them.