Paris Hilton’s house in Beverly Hills was burglarized last week by a man wearing a hoodie and gloves who forced his way through the front door and stole $2 million in jewelery from her bedroom.
Of course, this robbery has left Paris “devastated.” Hilton cried to Life & Style via MSNBC: “I cannot believe someone broke into my home. They took items that had such sentimental value that no one will ever be able to replace.”
Paris then emphasized that it was $2 million in sentimental value which actually makes it $4 million that she lost. So, if insurance or a compassionate jeweler can just give her that $4 million in cash and/or diamonds, everything will be cool. She’s not asking for much. Just a little something to start new memories with. Preferably something shiny with lots of carats.
The only thing Paris could be devastated by is a huge cock. Even that would have to work overtime in order to devastate.
CALL TOMMY LEE, WE GOT A CASE!