Paris Hilton in green

Palace officials made the wise decision to ban Prince William from being within a 50 mile radius of the Paris Hilton on New Year’s Eve. Fox News says Paris is tapped to host the Bongo Virus NYE bash that Prince William was also invited as a guest to. When the higher-ups found out Wonky Eye was there, they made the executive decision to take away his car keys and give him the talk about Paris’ airborne herpes even though “William really wanted to go.”

If you were wondering Paris’ NYE was going to be drama free, don’t worry, it’s probably not. One Night in Paris co-star Rock Salomon will also attend as might Sophie Monk and Benji Madden.

I think a good idea to help ring in the new year with Paris is to take her to the middle of the Australian outback and leave her there with only a bottle of pee and a knife and ask her, “You’ve seen Man vs Wild, right?,” and then just leave.