Eddie Murphy

While everyone else knows nothing about the next Batman movie, The Sun is sitting in their high chair laughing at those peons chasing their tails. You see, they are in the know and are well aware of exactly who’s going to be in it. Are you ready for the big news? Hold on to your mind because it’s about to be blown.

The Beverly Hills Cop star, 47, has been signed up by British director CHRISTOPHER NOLAN to reprise the role played by JIM CARREY in 1995’s Batman Forever.

Execs have also signed up rising Transformers star SHIA LABEOUF, 22, to play Robin.

Meanwhile, Brit RACHEL WEISZ is said to be up for the Catwoman role.

Congratulations, The Sun. You are the winner. It only makes sense that Shia LaBeouf will play Robin since he recently played Harrison Ford’s sidekick in Indiana Jones. And of course Eddie Murphy will play The Riddler since he, um, loves wearing costumes? As long as we’re throwing names around, how about have William H. Macy play The Penguin and Jennifer Aniston play Batgirl? It makes just as much sense as the Eddie Murphy and Shia LaBeouf thing.