Something is growing on Paris: The Daily Mail calls that thing on her foot an “unsightly throbbing bunion.” I call it freaking disgusting.
Horton Hears a Who over 21 and Stop-Loss: Can this lovable children’s film about an elephant triumph over card counters and patriotism? I was unquestionably wrong last week so… probably not.
The Hills movie …

Continue reading "Stuff you probably don’t care about"

Even though their rail-thin bodies will never be able to withstand the Santa Ana winds short of nailing their feet to the ground, I’d still hit Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen without hesitation and with much gusto. There’s nothing hotter than the sound of ribs cracking and pelvis’ breaking during sex. Banging the Olsens would roughly …

Continue reading "Bikinis don’t fall off of Mary-Kate and Ashley"

CNN: Heath Ledger’s Joker may be biggest posthumous role
Bastardly: Gisele Bundchen pimps the Vogue
Drunken Stepfather: Miranda Kerr has a funny picture
CityRag: Hollywood gang signs
Bossip: Akon has recorded a country album under a pseudonym in a bid to become the first popular, black country star

FHM: GTA IV is coming
Celebslam: Rikki the rapist
Celebitchy: Baron Cohen punks the …

Continue reading "Afternoon time wasters"

Pamela Anderson took her son (?) to a Lakers game on Wednesday and did what any over-the-hill ex-playboy model would do when in the presence of a bunch of millionaire ball players; spread her legs. Much to the dismay of fans.
On an unrelated note, I was at this game. The place smelled terrible. I had …

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Sienna Miller was photographed walking around Hollywood bra-less and in a see through dress. Supposedly. I can’t tell. Maybe it’s because I don’t have x-ray vision yet or maybe it’s because the dress is only sort of see-through. One thing’s for sure though. I really need to tone up my abs. They’ve gone from titanium …

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Audrina Patridge of The Hills went to a tattoo parlor in LA and inked a grotesquely long Chinese phrase on her arm. I think it translates to, “I fuck on the first date.” Actually, my friend tells me it means “rice cooked with lard (pig oil)” which they say is delicious. Some believe this is …

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Marko Jaric of the Minnesota Timberwolves has been dating Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima for the past six months and may be thinking about marriage. Marko says rumors of him shopping for a wedding ring have been greatly exaggerated, not that he isn’t seriously considering it.
“I am not shopping right now,” Jaric, 29, tells PEOPLE. …

Continue reading "Adriana Lima might get engaged"

Asylum: Airport security forces woman to remove nipple rings
Hollywood Rag: K-Fed and Britney: Good energy
Egotastic: Hayden Panettiere has what what?
WIMB: Mmm, girl scout cookies

Hollywood Tuna: Anna Kournikova getting a little older
HB: Madonna works out to Britney
EB: Ali Lohan or Ashlee Simpson
Celebparasite: Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom, maybe

Continue reading "Paris tries to dance and morning time wasters"