Brad Pitt got dissed

I’m tired of people calling Brad Pitt the most beautiful man in the whole world when that title so obviously belongs to me. That’s why when I hear some drunk girl go up to him and call him ugly and tell him he needs to shave his goatee, it brings a smile to my face because it means my doctor was wrong when he called me delusional and “in serious need of medication.” According to This is London:

Our spy at the Beverly Hills Hilton said: “Brad was enjoying a cocktail and chatting with friends at party when this woman, who was clearly drunk, approached him. She went on and on about how the aging make-up in The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button made him look ugly as a dog’.”

“Brad listened politely and explained that the make-up was essential to telling the story properly. The woman finally piped down for a moment, then looked closely at Brad’s face.

“She then said, And you should definitely shave that goatee because it looks just horrible’, before marching off. Brad’s buddies cracked up laughing.”

See? I’m not the only one who thinks so. I should tell Doctor Klein about this next time he takes my temperature with that 8-inch studded anal thermometer. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if he’s even a real doctor.