Megan Fox Golden Globes

Brian Austin Green was nowhere to be seen on the red carpet of the Golden Globes last Sunday with his fiancee Megan Fox not because I cut him out of every photo I had of her in a jealous fit of rage, but because he stayed at home diddling with his guitar. When asked where her boyfriend was,

The sexy actress finally exploded and hissed, “He doesn’t wanna be here. He doesn’t want to be my date. He’s a man, he has an ego.”

Quizzed further, Fox explained the actor was probably at home, making music.

She added, “I don’t think he cares (about the Golden Globes).”

Only an idiot would have ditched Megan Fox to play with himself at home. If this were me, I would have wheeled her there on a golden chariot. If Megan wanted, I’d BE her red carpet. I’d flop around the floor and have her walk on me so her heavenly feet would never have to touch the godless pavement. Basically, I’d do anything as long as I’d get laid that night. Does she need me to punch every cast member of The Hills in the face? Because I’ll do it. I mean, I’m going to do it anyway, but two birds with one stone and all that.