Joaquin Phoenix Bye! Good

Joaquin Phoenix wasn’t joking when he announced he was retiring from acting to focus on his music career. The Hollywood Reporter says that not only is he plowing ahead with his new career path, but his brother-in-law Casey Affleck will document Phoenix’s journey to become the world’s next rap superstar. Oh, yea. I forgot to mention. Joaquin Phoenix wants to be a rapper.

Phoenix is embarking on a new path as a rapper, with an album to be produced by Sean Combs. He is scheduled to make his first public performance Friday at a Las Vegas club, which will officially kick off Affleck’s shoot.

Um. Really? I thought the only white people who dreamed of becoming rappers were suburban kids with no lyrical talent whatsoever. Now you’re telling me 34-year-old Oscar-nominated actors have this same dream? Consider my mind blown. If Joaquin starts wearing gold chains with big dollar symbols around his neck, then I’ll have no choice but to go to every one of his concerts and throw my used boxers at him.