Britney Spears in Calabasas

The Mirror says a $14 million deal, which will see your favorite mentally unstable pop star, Britney Spears, pen an autobiography, is close to completion. A source explains:

“There have been numerous unofficial biographies printed about Britney, but she’s never agreed to pen her own tome – until now. “And some of the stories she’s got are absolute dynamite. She’s kept diaries so there’s nothing she’ll leave out unless she wants to.

“If the deal goes ahead she will write between three and five books throughout the next decade – it’s one of the most lucrative book deals in showbiz history.

“Britney will talk frankly about growing up and how she went off the rails. It’ll be a gripping read.”

It’s unclear why, in this recession, anyone would pay Britney such a tidy sum for 120 Cheeto-stained pages of why she thinks rainbows are pretty and how she enjoys licking cake mix off spatulas. They might as well feed those millions of dollars through a paper shredder. By their logic, that’s probably an easier way to quadruple that $14 million.