“The Hills” is ending

Season five will be The Hills‘ last. Lauren Conrad talking to Seventeen magazine revealed that she wanted to “walk away from it while it’s still a great thing. I always want to remember it that way. I gave MTV a deadline and said, ‘This is as long as I can do it and stay sane.’ ”

Right. Because The Hills is the defining show of our time. Watching Lauren Conrad and company blankly stare at each other from across a dinner table will be the most profound thing we see this century. It makes The Shield look like Jerry Springer. Seriously. I could vomit out a better show.